Someone once asked me,how can you not have sympathy for this person,don't you understand no one ever been nice to her in her whole life so she's just mean because of it~

 No ones been nice ot me in my life either but I haven't tried to lie and hurt others because of it.Why is it that one person will think and defend there pain and there friends pain against the rest of the world..but they do.

I would have never advocated consoling until now.WHY? because when you tell your friend your sister is an-----,your friend calls the building inspector on your sister and CPS and lies to "get even" Thus is how my life has been so far.One problem after the next and it's been since I talked to people online...guess it's a no wonder I feel they are contributing to these problems.

But regardless of the inconveniences  that have occurred I've managed to continued smelling like a rose garden,mostly because I am honest and not doing things that would be considered illegal in the state of N.Y..I can't account for other more Christian places (that was a joke)

My husband has moved out..he left the house in a sad cosmetic state of disorder and disrepair that I've been struggling to correct.My friend recently died and her 13 year old daughter is living with us until she can be relocated to her family,out of state.The saving grace of my friend passing for me has been CPS and social workers,nuns have been in and out of our life here and they have no grief with me,my religious choices or the way I'm raising my children here.I know that's a real let down to the frantically christian zealots that have spent a long time trying to convince me I'm going to hell,but thems the breaks,is all I can say.

I met a very attractive man down the street and managed to have a two hour conversation on the sidewalk with each other,that I did not want to interrupt even then but had to and it was wonderful.I love my husband very much still but he's trying to kill me..I think separation is a good idea and finding "new friends" He's not trying to kill me in the traditional sense he's trying to drive me to suicide by giving me so much stress and anguish to the point of either killing him or doing something bad to myself be it medically,physiologically or other wise..he's an unhealthy choice for me and the girls,this is clear.

SO....I'm surviving and trying to get back on my feet.I have 0 cash but figure I'll try and do with what I have.I'm shutting off unnecessary things like cable and phone and am going to try and just do cell or prepay and then if worse comes to worse WIFI from the local library I pray stays open at this point.He pays me some child support I have enough between that and rent to stay afloat at this home.Even with the harassment from the SWAT store rejects next door (I'll be sharing pictures I'm sure) This place is still cheaper to live at and less complicated I have more control over who lives here and can shield my kids from renting to crack heads.You know I'm not trying to be a bitch here but they don't need THAT bullshit..crack smokers and other addicts tend to steal for a fix and we don't need any of that----- in our lives period.I know it's a sickness and wouldn't not say hello but an old friend gave me some valuable advice years ago he said,"Gus don't bring the party home"..Thank you brother,that was wise words..One of my scooter trash friends LOL..some of the best people in the world rides a motorcycle...but some of the worst also ride.